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Writer's pictureJC Summars

Thoroughly Stoned

I did inhale. Deeply. And I liked it a lot. But this isn't about that. And it's not about the cruel religious practice of murderous judgement of fellow human beings. It's about whether I am up to getting my house thoroughly stoned before I'm too old to complete the laborious job.

I built this little stone and shake-shingled structure on a lark forty years ago just to see if I could do it. I liked the results back then and still do. It's surprising the structure is still standing considering I had no idea what I was doing, mixing mortar using store-bought quickcrete mixed in a wheelbarrow without paying too much attention to its moisture content aside from getting it to stick without sagging or cracking after application to stone. At forty years it has taken on a beautiful weathered appearance, including a sheen of moss growing on the stonework.


It was built in a few days, one for the steel framework (there's a deeply anchored steel support set at a slight angle inside for one end of a suspension bridge, which I never got around to building), another day for the stonework and one more for the shingling. My brother helped with the last part because he had experience doing shake shingle roofing work. That turned out well and has lasted nicely too. I might live long enough to see that effect on the house too if I get it clad in stone soon, and can manage to live to be about 100 years old. It would be nice to get stoned myself and gaze upon the finished walls, then, recalling the long process and effort invested.


I'm guessing it would require about four or five years to clad the house in stone, working alone, which is how I would prefer to do it. I don't want to be rushed or distracted while choosing stones and certainly want to be free to ponder over their placement. Putting them up in a rush willy nilly without patiently listening for them to speak to me about where and how they should be set just won't do if the house is to be as thoroughly stoned as I want it to be. Then at about seventy years old I can kick back and enjoy the memories.

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