Updated: Jul 14, 2021
(A Speculative Short Story)
"It's recurrent enough. It's just not strong enough."
"It's my favorite one."
"No matter. It must be recurrent–and desirability is a factor–but poignancy matters most."
"What if I don't have any regrets? Does that disqualify?"
"No regrets would disqualify, but that never happens. Everyone has regrets.
Your deepest regret will provide strength enough to achieve phase transition."
"How do I find my deepest regret?"
"You don't. It has to find you."
"And if it doesn't find me, what then?"
"Then you will not make it across."
"Hmmm. That could be my deepest regret."
"Do not despair. You are fortunate to have discovered this initial key. Few ever do."
On Dark Wings
Standing on the edge watching a buzzard float effortlessly on air currents rising along the cliff face, a mere attitude shift will allow transfer into the creature's existence. It banks away upon sighting me standing there watching it before attempting the transfer. A slight rocking of wings indicates it has happened. Electric thrill of transfer is intense but brief, quickly supplanted by sustained thrill of self-powered flight upon wide, dark wings. Steadying those wings restores smooth gliding on updraft undulations easily sensed by feather tips and almost seen through eyes and visualization processes of a small brain evolved specifically for flight.
It's a dream frequently enjoyed at will, easily triggered through lucid induction techniques now thoroughly mastered after years of practice. Not reality, by any stretch of imagination, but real enough in every detail to completely satisfy while dreaming it. And satisfaction is what my dreaming sessions are all about.
Deeply ingrained skepticism prevents acceptance of them being anything more than mind movies whipped up for reflective processing of waking-hours reality intake by my subconscious mind. And skepticism prevents acceptance of what the voice keeps telling me about them, even though I have no control over that voice or anything it tells me. The most disturbing thing about the voice is that it wasn't ever in the dreams before. Now it's always in them, and it's always making an incredible promise.
~ more to come soon ~