Porn Flick

Updated: Sep 12

Warning: rough with lots of leg and foreplay, but more interesting than any I've ever seen.


This pair of Giant Lichen Orbweavers (Araneus bicentenarius) mated just before sunrise under a sickle moon in a sperm web built by the male between low-hanging branches of a burl oak tree and recently mown ground. I spotted it in the starlight because the male was plucking rhythmically at the web as I was walking past it (luckily rather than through it, which is usually what happens when I go out wandering at night), making the large gossamer structure move noticeably. The strings musician in me was intrigued.


The male was plucking at the web to attract a female. I wondered if she might actually hear or feel his thrumming serenade in the still night air, and what it "sounded" like to her. I couldn't hear it.



A female showed up within just a few minutes. I ran back into the house to get a camera as they were both plucking at the web. As the video reveals, the male spent a long time then patting and stroking the female. To arouse or calm her is anyone's guess. Maybe a bit of both.


I can relate to that.


After they mated, they let each other escape unharmed and before sunrise the web had been completely destroyed or gathered up, leaving no trace of their starlight copulation.


Raw Video & Stills: recorded with a hand-held iPhone. A small LED flashlight held between teeth provided lighting for the shoot.

Soundtrack: titled Dollars Kreepers, the tune was composed and mastered entirely on an iPad using the Garageband for iOS app.

Final Video: created and mastered using Final Cut Pro running on a Mac Mini.


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