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Living Apart

As much as possible, I strive to physically live apart from society now without disconnecting entirely. Thanks to the internet it's easy to remain aware of society's chaotic antics while dwelling as far away from it all as I can afford to. It's an arrangement of fortune in terms of sanity maintenance. Fifteen years living this way has helped me realize how society incessantly pressures people to lose themselves in the insanity of its frantic thrash and churn.

A recurring dream which began shortly after graduation from college more than three decades ago and has intensified since moving into wilderness fifteen years ago occasionally graces periods of deeply restful sleep. In this dream I find myself swimming within and as part of a pod of pacific white-sided dolphin, thoroughly enjoying company of the pod but feeling free enough as an accepted member to peel off and swim away to distant, unknown points of open ocean for solo exploration and hunting. The freedom felt while away is exciting and invigorating.

In the strange time-warping only dreams allow, decades pass before returning to the pod which welcomes me back as if I'd never been absent at all, eagerly inquiring of my experiences while away on my own. Singing my stories and then listening intently to story songs of other pod member's own solo-journeys for a while before once again bidding them all farewell to trek alone in wild open ocean, life feels as satisfying as it can possibly ever be.

I suppose this recurring dream is my subconscious mind reassuring me that this lifestyle I've chosen is not abnormal. Some people find deep satisfaction living apart without loss of soul.

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